Lost and Found

I dropped a pair of black gloves on the bus from Uppingham back to Leicester. Winter is approaching at full speed now, so the loss troubles me quite a bit. I also feel emotionally attached to the gloves because they are purchased in Oxford. I remember clearly where I bought them. I remember their price and, especially, the man who helps me decide on them. How he said he also liked suede in gloves, a kind of low-key blackness. They wrap my torturing memories.

It may be by fate that I left them behind. Now is the time for me to look ahead, not look back.

(2006 early winter)

Alice (1990) written and directed by Woody Allen.

I agree that the movie is disappointingly flat. However it remind me of my own life. I am not married with an as wealthy husband as Alice does, but so far my life is at quite ease. I have enough money to get around, have enough time to idle, but I am not 100 percent satisfied because I lack a goal to strive for. I feel I am not making enough contribution. I feel I am not 'living myself out'.

I enjoy spending time in my hobbies, reading, painting, horse riding when there is a chance...but somehow they are not things require intelligence or persistence. I feel uneasy that I can be happy without making interaction with people...

The end of movie is, Alice involuntarily gives up both her hesitant lover and her regularly unfaithful husband. She goes to India to meet Mother Teresa and come back to live in a run-down area happily with her children. Very unlikely realistic ending, I would say.

And I cannot help wondering about my own life. What career/goal is worthy my time to invest in and will fit my capability?

Actually I believe I am just too lazy to stick to one of them: writing, flower arrangement, fashion design...